I'm just hanging out on the couch before the day really gets started.  I'm leaving for California today for an Heritage Makers conference.  I have to say, I'm not really excited.  I've been trying to figure it out for days now.  

I'm not sure if it's because I don't really know anyone there, therefore I don't really have anyone to look forward to hanging with.

Or, am I just lazy?

What I think it is more than anything is that I'm REALLY going to miss my children.  That trip to the beach really did a number on me. :)  Having so many kids so quickly has really gotten on my nerves at times.  But, now that I've been homschooling them for nearly a year and they've been joined at the hip for so long, I think I'm really going to miss their companionship.

They just really make me happy.  They make me place my priorities in the correct order.  They make me smile and yell at times.  I'm learning to be a more patient mother.  There are days that patience is not in my vocabulary, but most of the time I really try to soften my responses and communicate to them my love, even when I'm mad.

I will enjoy sleeping in a hotel room all by myself.  Not fighting for the bathroom.  Having some adult conversations and just kinda being selfish.  I'm going to Disneyland while I'm there too.

But, my heart really does sadden as I think about saying good bye to my family at the airport and enduring 2 hours in the airport.  Flying to California is a LONG trip and I'm going to be lonely without my little posse.

I love my children.  I love being with them and teaching them.  I love being their mother.  I have to confess, the pessimistic side of my brain worries about coming home.  Will I?  Please pray for me and my children.

Sorry about the deep, dark parts of my brain.  That's like seeing those tabloid magazines in the checkout lane with pictures of the "stars" without make up or their cellulite at the beach.

I do apologize.