I admit it....I lost my temper

Since doing so much canning over the last few days, I decided to kinda relax a bit.  Just take it easy.  It's amazing how children will do the same as the parent, no matter what.  The only difference is that my version of relaxing included cleaning out my closet and sitting to eat. :)  Their version is creating games that involve running crazy through my house and wrestling.

We only had an hour before we had to leave for piano lessons.  60 minutes.  I sent the kids outside to run back and forth across the yard 10 times to work out some of their energy.  Why is it that children are drawn to making messes?

They stayed outside.  I was fine with that.  About 15 minutes before we were supposed to leave, Joey comes to my bedroom to humbly announce that the water to the hose won't turn off.  I go outside to find my backyard flooded.  It had rained all day yesterday so there wasn't a lot of "give" in the ground to soak up my children's choice of fun.

The one funny part is that they had obviously tried to fix the problem.  Nearly every usable bucket from the backyard was filled up with water.  That makes me laugh.  That's about the only thing.  They decided to put the hose down in the drainpipe tube that attaches to the downspout and runs out into the yard.  I appreciate that thought as well.  Only, the combo of yesterday's rain AND today's "experiment", there is now a giant pond in the middle of the backyard.  Let's just hope it doesn't turn into a skating rink anytime soon.

At this point, I lost my temper.  I don't think I used but two swear words but there was a whole lotta yelling.  They all got banished to their bedrooms with the promise that they will be paying for this month's water bill.  Robbie started crying.  I had no sympathy.  Now, I'm in the mucky, muddy backyard (sounds like a Dora the Explorer destination), with my nice clothes on ( I was going out in public) trying to turn off the spigot or put on a nozzle to contain the water.  NO LUCK!  The kids have broken all of my nozzles and the spigot is just not working....period.

I call Sam crying and yelling.  He told me to have the boys run the hose out as far into the yard as possible so it doesn't seep back into the house.  They do that.  I call Melanie to tell her that piano lessons aren't going to happen.  But, I just cried hysterically.  She was calm and patient and assured me it would be fine and we'd make up the lesson.  

Sam called back to say he'd come home from Philly to fix it all.  I told him I'd just run to the Home Depot and buy a nozzle.  So, I left the kids at home in a fixed position.  Thankfully, the Home Depot is less than a few blocks from our house.  I waddled my way in there and found the slowest worker to lead me to the meager home and garden area left for the winter.  We found a nozzle and then both of us waddled to the plumbing department where I received a lesson in spigots.  I left with just the nozzle.  Sam will have to figure out the spigot size.

I come back home, roll up my pants and head out to the backyard.  Meanwhile, Robbie had turned off the water from inside the house.  Not a bad idea, but I was still made at him.  Though I will applaud him in my blog for his self-reliant thinking.  Go Robbie!

I attached the nozzle but left it hose extended to the nethermost regions of the the yard just in case I did something wrong.

So, the kids are now in the bedrooms until their dad comes home.  It's only 1pm.  They'll be in there for at least another 5 hours.  I don't have a problem with it.  Joey asked if they'd be allowed to eat.  I told him he could have the last quarter of the PB&J sandwich he refused to eat for breakfast and is still sitting on the table.  He didn't like that idea.  I don't care.

For the record, there has been no "laying on of hands" during this event.  

Now, I'm off to enjoy my 5 hours until the father returns.

Back in the Saddle

Well, I've been back in the saddle from a long time absent.  I discovered the other day that I was tremendously low on chicken, both frozen and canned.  So, I made an executive decision to drive up to North Philly and purchase 120 lbs of chicken.

I canned 34 pints of chicken tenders last night.  Today, with the kids' help, I was able to de-fat 40 lbs of chicken breast and prep it to be vacuumed sealed and frozen.  That was 10 packages.  I was so proud of the kids.  Robbie and Lucy to be exact.  They both learned how to work the Food Saver and make and seal up the bags of chicken.  They also helped with the actual de-fatting and used sharp knives.  I didn't look at them very often because their knife skills are VERY scary and I was scared they were going to lose a digit.  We all survived.

Defatting the chicken thighs took what seemed like forever.  So little meat and so much fat.  So, with all the fat and scraps of chicken I'm now learning how to render chicken fat into schmaltz.  I'm saving most of the thigh meat to turn into freezer meals.  Preparedness never ends.

So, it's been nice to be useful and productive again.  I've missed it having been so sick with this little baby.  I'm grateful that I'm feeling well enough to do some more canning and preserving.  I just had to take more breaks than usual.

I did very much enjoy spending time with my kids though.  We had a bit of an anatomy lesson while doing the chicken breasts. :)  Very funny.  Glad that I homeschool for those memories right there.

UPDATE:  My final tally for the chicken was--47 canned chicken, 18 frozen chicken (approx 4lbs in each), 6 freezer meals, 6 quarts of broth, 2 pints of rendered fat (schmaltz), cooked chicken scrap for my neighbor's dogs.  I'm still recovering two days later, but I feel that I definitely added to our family's storage which was the ultimate goal.

Finances

I've never been good at finances.  I've come a long way though. When I owned my own home in Virginia before getting married, I wouldn't even open the bills because I was scared of them.  I know, most of you are aghast that I would actually admit that.  Oh well, it's true.  That was at my worst.  I'm not at my best just yet, but I'm much better than in the past.

Because we're self-employed, our financial circumstances tend to be either super great or not so much.  I'm actually ok with both.  I prefer super great though.  One of the good things about being self-employed is that you don't have a set income necessarily which means you can actually capitalize on opportunities presented, therefore making a good amount of money.  The other side of that is when the opportunities don't come, alas, we don't eat.  Of course, I've have my food storage which has saved our rear ends many times.  

But, recently I ran across a blog called www.debtfreeadventure.com.  I'm not sure why this blog appealed to me, but it did.  This fellow, Matt Jabs, decided to get rid of his $15000 i debt and grow a savings fund at the same time.  He determined to learn all he could about finances and money, etc, etc.  He has lots of people make comments on post topics that I have found to be invaluable.  I enjoy Dave Ramsey and even Suze Orman to some extent, but the real world people who can give down and dirty advice is what I seek.

Because of the advice and tools offered on Jabs' website, in just about a week, I have organized my finances.  Detailing in spreadsheets my constant bills (ie electric, gas) and figured out how much interest I'm paying on my mortgage, credit cards and other debts as a way to understand more fully what is going out my door every month.  Because of the organization of it all, I feel as though a burden has been lifted.  I'm not choosing to be in the dark anymore.  The debt burden is still there, but at least I know that it's possible to overcome.

I just wanted to document my personal success.  It's nice to not be so overwhelmed as to now even know where to start.  One step at a time.

The Great Plan of Happiness

This is the talk I gave at Diane's funeral.  I didn't write it, God did.

Good morning!  I am so thankful to have this opportunity to share with you some of Dane's very core beliefs.

One of these beliefs is referred to as the Great Plan of Happiness.  i some ways I find that ironic as we sit here and mourn the loss of our dear friend.  But, as I explain this Plan, you will see how out of our grief, we can hope for joy and happiness.

We've all made plans.  Sometimes the plan is as simple as making toast.  Other times, creating plans requires time, energy, a pen and paper and a major computer program.  But, in all plans, simple or complex, the goal is to get from Point A to Point B.  There may be a few unexpected detours or delays.  Some of these detours or delays may be from mistakes we make, or from situations over which we have no control.

Each of our plans has crucial decision, or moments or actions that must be accomplished or we won't make it to Point B.  If my plan is to make toast and I forget to plug in the toaster,  I don't make it to Point B.

The examples are endless and I'm sure each of you can share experiences when your plans didn't go quite as expected.  But, I bet most of the time, you persevered and made it to Point B.  

So it is with the Great Plan of Happiness.  Diane would appreciate a children's Primary song to introduce the Plan.

"I lived in heaven a long time ago, it is true,

Lived there and loved there with people I know, so did you.

Then Heavenly Father presented a beautiful plan,

All about earth and eternal salvation for man."

This Plan was created long before any of us were born.  From this song, we learn the joyful news that we knew each other in a pre-mortal world.  We also learn that not only did we know each other but we also knew our Father in Heaven.  Oh how we loved Him and wanted to be just like Him!  And because He is so loving and generous, He created this Great Plan of Happiness so that our Point B would be to return to Him and live with Him eternally.  This is the definition of salvation.  We were so excited for this opportunity.

It was explained to us that there would be detours and delays, some of our own making and some by uncontrollable circumstances.  But, He would give us road maps, GPS units and weather stations in the form of scriptures, faith, teachers, prayers and many others.

However, we also knew that in order to be with our Father we had to return unspotted from the world.  Clean and worthy to enter into and feel comfortable in His presence. 

This is where the Plan takes on it's Greatness.  Knowing that it would be impossible for us to remain clean through out our lives, Heavenly Father gave us His greatest gift.  In John 3:16, we read, "God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son, that whosoever believest in him would not perish but have everlasting life,"

Jesus Christ is the central figure in the Plan.  It is only through Him that we can return to our Father unspotted and clean.  John 14:6 reads, "And Jesus said unto him, I am the way, the truth and the light, no man cometh unto the Father but by me."

This is what Diane knew down into her very core.  She had a strong relationship with her Savior.  This is what she was most sure about.  This is the knowledge and testimony she taught to the little children for whom she had so much love.  I, myself, am a better mother because she taught me how to teach my own children about Christ.

The Great Plan of Happiness hinges solely upon our willingness to accept Christ as our Savior and to simply follow Him.  We will continue to make mistakes and be hurt by mistakes from others.  But, as we repent and realign our thoughts and actions with our Lord, we will find the peace and happiness the Plan was intended for us to feel.

Sheri Dew said, "The Lord knows the way because He is the way and is our only chance for successfully negotiating mortality.  His Atonement makes available all of the power, peace, light and strength that we need to deal with life's challenges--those ranging from our own mistake and sins to trials over which we have no control be we still feel pain. 

 "There is simply no mortal equivalent.  Not in terms of commitment, power, or love.  He is our only chance.

"Our responsibility is to learn to draw upon the power of the Atonement.  Otherwise we walk through mortality relying solely on our own strength.  and to do that is to invite the frustration of failure and to refuse the most resplendent gift in time or eternity."

As we accept Christ as our Savior and work to create a strong relationship with Him, we will find ourselves choosing what is right with ease.  We will find ourselves serving other with pure hearts, desiring to lift burdens to that they can feel the peace of Christ.  We will find ourselves feeling abundant measures of gratitude.  All of these things will only bring us closer to our Point B.  It truly is a Great Plan.

Temporarily, Diane's spirit is separated from her mortal body.  Because of Christ's supreme sacrifice, Diane and all who have lived and died including ourselves, will one day have our spirits reunited with a beautiful and immortal body.  Never to die again.  Jesus Christ took back His perfect and immortal body as an example of what we would all receive.  We know that Christ was in the image of His Father.  So we know that our Heavenly Father has a perfect and immortal body as well.

Once we have all been resurrected and have received our perfect and immortal bodies, we will have the opportunity to stand in a final judgement and be accountable for the life we lived.  Did we accept our Savior?  Did we stay true?  Did we use the road maps, GPS units and weather stations Father provided for us to overcome our trials both self-made and those out of our control?  Did we repent?  Did we use the grace that was offered us?  Did we serve others and share this Great Plan?

Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ love and cherish each of us.  We are their children.  They would never set us up to fail.  We are all here to make it successfully to Point B.

My heart is full of gratitude that Diane was an active part of my life and that of my family's.  I'm grateful for her example.  I'm mostly grateful for this Great Plan of Happiness, that God created for us all.  Diane is just a step ahead but the destination is the same for us all.

Amen.

My Friend, My Sister

This is a hard post for me to make.  One of the dearest friends I've ever had passed away this week.  It was not unexpected. 

Diane Paul and I became friends when she called me to serve as a counselor in her Relief Society presidency over 10 years ago.  She quickly became more than just someone with whom I served in church, she became a friend and finally my sister.  I'm the oldest in my family, thus I never had a big brother/sister.  Diane filled that role for me.

She taught me how to be a better mother.  I always called her about medical concerns about my children before I called the doctor.  She was a pediatric nurse.  She taught me how to relate to my children.  To be patient with them.  To teach them during play and work.  She showed me how to teach my children to include Christ in their lives.  I'm so grateful for such an example.  I don't think I could ever express it adequately.

The picture above is when my 4th baby Leah was blessed.  My mom and dad were serving a full time mission and couldn't be there for the birth or the blessing.  Diane stepped in and served as my mom.  She came to the hospital the day and the day after the birth and spent the day with me.  Just like my mom would've.  The day of the blessing was especially hard for me because my parents weren't present.  Diane was there to help me get Leah dressed in her blessing gown and just fuss over both of us.  

I have many other memories and pictures of our friendship and her membership in our family.  

There's much more to write but I'm finding tears welling up and I don't want to do that right now.  This will do for now.  I just wanted to honor my dear friend and sister.  I will miss you more than you'll ever know.

I'm not a negative person

It's been three months since I've blogged.  I've thought of blogging but I don't feel as though I have anything to say worthwhile.  I stopped blogging about the time I started feeling the effects of all day morning sickness.  I've been so sick.  I'm sure I've not been as sick as other women, in fact, I know that.  BUT, I'm really sick for me. I have a very low threshold for pain and discomfort.  I'm not a wuss, but I just prefer to be well.  I've been so blessed to have a healthy body most of my life.  

I haven't written because I've felt so sad, negative and despondent that I haven't wanted anyone to know.  I didn't want to bring anyone down or roll their eyes at my constant complaining.  I feel badly for my family because they've had to take the brunt of it.  They've earned a place in heave for sure after this experience.  

I'm usually able to find the good in any "bad" thing.  I've really struggled with that a lot.  I'm not being very successful in my efforts.  I can see good things but I really can't embrace them.  It's so not like me.  

The best part of my day is going to bed because my nausea is alleviated for a few hours.  The worst part is waking up in the morning because I know there's a long day of homeschooling, child rearing and generally being awake that I have to deal with.  I don't think I'm learning much from this experience.  That's frustrating me as well.  I just feel hopeless.  

So, that's enough of my ranting.  Only 23 weeks and 2 days to go.  I can endure anything.  Maybe I should read the scriptures more especially the lines that say "and it came to pass".  

Book Give Away

Many of y'all know that I've been on an Americana Tour this summer with the children.  I have learned so much and my patriotism has swelled.  I don't know what the children have learned or gleaned from the visits to historical sites but I'm grateful that I could take them with me.

So, I was tickled pink to find out that an author has begun to write books about the early years of our country with a fictional slant.  I'm anxious to read them.  There is a book give away for these books.  You can check it out at: 

 http://annebradshaw.blogspot.com/2009/08/give-away-2-epic-historic-romance.html