End of the Year

Well, it's December 31st. Another year has come and gone. I've been blogging for two years now. Kinda weird to think that.

I don't think I have anything profound to say today.

My thoughts today are the fact that I love to learn. I'm so grateful for a husband that allows me to learn and develop new skills and talents.

I will have a baby this year. That's pretty profound. Four more months to go. It's been a long hard road with this little thing. I'm hoping that my mood and my attitude about the baby and life in general is lifted. Now that I can feel this little thing moving, it's become more of a person to me. Someone that I'm looking forward to getting to know.

My head spins a little to realize all the different stages my children are in. Jen: 16, Junior, in 18 months will be graduating, needs to start studying for and taking the SATs...lots of other stuff going on with that.

Jessie: 15, Freshman, she's in a pretty good place right now. I'm thankful.

Robbie: 10, will be 11 in two months. Moving on to 11 year old scouts, in one year receives the Priesthood and heads into Young Men. That one is kinda starting to freak me out.

Lucy: 9, she's actually doing very well. She has a little victim thing going on at times, but most of the time is extremely self-reliant and works diligently at developing her homemaking skills, (currently crocheting and sewing).

Joey: 7, he worries me a bit. We just think so differently. He's a ball of energy and all about FUN!!! Me, I work inside boundaries very well, probably to my detriment. Teaching him to read is harder than teaching all of them to go to the potty. He's a good boy though. He knows what he wants to do, just has trouble imposing limits on himself. We'll figure it out.

Leah: 4, in some ways she my "mini-me". I don't think I'm as smart as she is but we have similar temperaments and ways. I'm so glad she's a member of our family. She keeps the sweetness of a little child in our home. I'm very grateful for her perspective.

New One: in utero, not sure exactly if we're having a girl or boy. They say it's a girl but I'm not completely convinced. I go for another ultrasound in a few weeks, we'll know for sure then. This new one will come into a great family. His/Her brothers and sisters will be so fabulous. This will be the first time that most of the kids are really aware of what's going on. They've seen my struggles and learned compassion. They've seen my faith tried, and hopefully learned to stay tight with the Lord. This new one will continue to bring sweetness and purity to our home. I'm looking forward to smooching and loving on it.

Sam: 43, business owner. He's a good man. He's going through some growing pains right now. We're trying to as a married couple to change some of our habits that haven't been as positive as others. We'll get there. Nothing bad, just change. It's good. I'm grateful for him.

Me: 41, pregnant homeschooling mom. I thought before I got pregnant that I was "finding" my likes and hobbies again. I guess I did. I just feel like I have to put them on hold again. I'm much more aware of finding laughter and traveling and having fun. I'm grateful for Joey reminding me that fun is important. I'm glad the new year is starting. Even though is just a flip of the calendar page, it mentally creates hope for us all.

Happy New Year!!!

Merry Christmas

My personal opinion is that we had a very nice Christmas. It's always great when Jen and Jessie get to be with us on Christmas morning. Everyone got to open their new pajamas on Christmas Eve. It's funny but this year was the first year they all figured out my M.O. to give PJs on Christmas Eve.

I just happened to find a video from last Christmas when the 4 little ones re-enacted the Nativity Story. It was so cute to watch and remember. So, we did it again and Jen and Jessie both dressed up as shepherds to join the fun. Leah wore her Tinkerbell costume from Halloween when she dressed up like Mary. Lucy wore her Snow Queen costume as the angel.

We all got up about 7:30 to head downstairs for the gift unwrapping. We tried something a little different but I really liked it. My friend Kristin said that as a kids her dad would blindfold a child and spin them around and send them in the direction of the tree. When they got to a present, they read who it was for and then gave it to them. So, that's what we did. It made the gift unwrapping last about twice as long. It was good too, because no one could keep track of how many presents the other had. I enjoyed it much more than just passing out gifts. There was just a smidge of suspense.

Robbie and Joey each opening their super cool RC cars. The cars go in snow, land and water. Perfect for our current climate with the snow still on the ground.
Jen and Jessie each got a cute little purse with a gift card in it.
Lucy and Leah in their new jammies.

It took me a while to get into the Christmas spirit this year because I've been so sick. Alas, at some point it did catch up to me and I'm really grateful for a lovely family who all worship the Lord Jesus Christ.

Kinda fascinated...

I've been experiencing something with myself as well as with a couple of my girl friends.  I've recognized this for about a year or so with myself.  That is....I'm stuck.  From my own choices, I'm stuck being a wife and a mother.  Oh how I cried myself to sleep so many times as a single girl.  All I ever wanted was to be a wife and a mother.  Here I am!

I actually enjoy being both most of the time.  My concern comes after watching the last episodes of The Biggest Loser this last season.  There was a 49 year old woman on there named Liz.  I didn't really like her personality BUT I learned something from her.  In the last few shows, she repeated herself quite a bit.  She called out to all women.  She said that she got so busy serving and doing for everyone else, that she forgot herself.  Now she's 49 years old and doesn't know how to treat herself respectfully.  I have identified with her words.  

I read another friend's blog today and was so impressed with her candor that I thought I'd add to the momentum.  

Last summer was probably the best summer of my life.  I combined just about everything I liked all at the same time.  I traveled with the kids all over to visit important sites of the American Revolution.  I love road trips.  I stopped going on road trips because I kept waiting for my husband to want to go with me.  He HATES road trips.  That part of me died for a number of years.  I also was anchored to a bunch of little children.  Lots of them.  And they just kept coming.  I never felt confident enough to venture out by myself with little, little kids.  

Last summer I took them all, the big ones and the little ones.  I don't know that they appreciated our trips, I'm sure they don't.  But, I sure do.  I took them to Lancaster, PA one day because I wanted to find fresh, farm raised, grass fed beef and chicken and raw milk and butter.  I was semi-successful.  But, then we we to a tourist spot of sorts which was a working Amish Farm.  It was more a tourist spot than working farm, but they had a garden and herbs and lots of animals. It was interesting to learn a little about the Amish way of life.  I think the kids were bored.  But, heck, I paid for it, so we did it.  After that, we went mini golfing.

There were other trips to Valley Forge, Philadelphia, Baltimore (Ft. McHenry) Monticello, Ashlawn, Smithsonian to see the actual Star Spangled Banner.  I enjoyed myself tremendously. I think the real fun and adventure of my personality appeared.  I felt like I was reborn and there was a light at the end of my tunnel.  

Recently, I've felt trapped.  At the end of all that fun, on August 14th, 2009, my 12th anniversary, I found out I was pregnant AGAIN!  I know babies are a good thing.  It was as if everything came to a grinding halt.  That super fun mom that the kids had grown to expect from the summer, has disappeared.  I have been so sick from this pregnancy.  I'm easily worn down and often depressed.  I've tried and tried to be grateful for this new addition.  I'm sure I will be when she gets here.  But, I miss the traveling and the adventure and the spontaneity that I experienced with 6 kids.  I feel as though I've been thrust back into the sad, boring life before the Summer of '09.  

I haven't figured out how to cope with it yet.  Maybe it will be a bit easier with older kids to help me.  Perhaps I'll still be able to take road trips even with a teeny baby.  

That's my story.  There are other women out there with similar stories or feelings.  Can we help each other?  Do we need help?  I dunno. 

I admit it....I lost my temper

Since doing so much canning over the last few days, I decided to kinda relax a bit.  Just take it easy.  It's amazing how children will do the same as the parent, no matter what.  The only difference is that my version of relaxing included cleaning out my closet and sitting to eat. :)  Their version is creating games that involve running crazy through my house and wrestling.

We only had an hour before we had to leave for piano lessons.  60 minutes.  I sent the kids outside to run back and forth across the yard 10 times to work out some of their energy.  Why is it that children are drawn to making messes?

They stayed outside.  I was fine with that.  About 15 minutes before we were supposed to leave, Joey comes to my bedroom to humbly announce that the water to the hose won't turn off.  I go outside to find my backyard flooded.  It had rained all day yesterday so there wasn't a lot of "give" in the ground to soak up my children's choice of fun.

The one funny part is that they had obviously tried to fix the problem.  Nearly every usable bucket from the backyard was filled up with water.  That makes me laugh.  That's about the only thing.  They decided to put the hose down in the drainpipe tube that attaches to the downspout and runs out into the yard.  I appreciate that thought as well.  Only, the combo of yesterday's rain AND today's "experiment", there is now a giant pond in the middle of the backyard.  Let's just hope it doesn't turn into a skating rink anytime soon.

At this point, I lost my temper.  I don't think I used but two swear words but there was a whole lotta yelling.  They all got banished to their bedrooms with the promise that they will be paying for this month's water bill.  Robbie started crying.  I had no sympathy.  Now, I'm in the mucky, muddy backyard (sounds like a Dora the Explorer destination), with my nice clothes on ( I was going out in public) trying to turn off the spigot or put on a nozzle to contain the water.  NO LUCK!  The kids have broken all of my nozzles and the spigot is just not working....period.

I call Sam crying and yelling.  He told me to have the boys run the hose out as far into the yard as possible so it doesn't seep back into the house.  They do that.  I call Melanie to tell her that piano lessons aren't going to happen.  But, I just cried hysterically.  She was calm and patient and assured me it would be fine and we'd make up the lesson.  

Sam called back to say he'd come home from Philly to fix it all.  I told him I'd just run to the Home Depot and buy a nozzle.  So, I left the kids at home in a fixed position.  Thankfully, the Home Depot is less than a few blocks from our house.  I waddled my way in there and found the slowest worker to lead me to the meager home and garden area left for the winter.  We found a nozzle and then both of us waddled to the plumbing department where I received a lesson in spigots.  I left with just the nozzle.  Sam will have to figure out the spigot size.

I come back home, roll up my pants and head out to the backyard.  Meanwhile, Robbie had turned off the water from inside the house.  Not a bad idea, but I was still made at him.  Though I will applaud him in my blog for his self-reliant thinking.  Go Robbie!

I attached the nozzle but left it hose extended to the nethermost regions of the the yard just in case I did something wrong.

So, the kids are now in the bedrooms until their dad comes home.  It's only 1pm.  They'll be in there for at least another 5 hours.  I don't have a problem with it.  Joey asked if they'd be allowed to eat.  I told him he could have the last quarter of the PB&J sandwich he refused to eat for breakfast and is still sitting on the table.  He didn't like that idea.  I don't care.

For the record, there has been no "laying on of hands" during this event.  

Now, I'm off to enjoy my 5 hours until the father returns.

Back in the Saddle

Well, I've been back in the saddle from a long time absent.  I discovered the other day that I was tremendously low on chicken, both frozen and canned.  So, I made an executive decision to drive up to North Philly and purchase 120 lbs of chicken.

I canned 34 pints of chicken tenders last night.  Today, with the kids' help, I was able to de-fat 40 lbs of chicken breast and prep it to be vacuumed sealed and frozen.  That was 10 packages.  I was so proud of the kids.  Robbie and Lucy to be exact.  They both learned how to work the Food Saver and make and seal up the bags of chicken.  They also helped with the actual de-fatting and used sharp knives.  I didn't look at them very often because their knife skills are VERY scary and I was scared they were going to lose a digit.  We all survived.

Defatting the chicken thighs took what seemed like forever.  So little meat and so much fat.  So, with all the fat and scraps of chicken I'm now learning how to render chicken fat into schmaltz.  I'm saving most of the thigh meat to turn into freezer meals.  Preparedness never ends.

So, it's been nice to be useful and productive again.  I've missed it having been so sick with this little baby.  I'm grateful that I'm feeling well enough to do some more canning and preserving.  I just had to take more breaks than usual.

I did very much enjoy spending time with my kids though.  We had a bit of an anatomy lesson while doing the chicken breasts. :)  Very funny.  Glad that I homeschool for those memories right there.

UPDATE:  My final tally for the chicken was--47 canned chicken, 18 frozen chicken (approx 4lbs in each), 6 freezer meals, 6 quarts of broth, 2 pints of rendered fat (schmaltz), cooked chicken scrap for my neighbor's dogs.  I'm still recovering two days later, but I feel that I definitely added to our family's storage which was the ultimate goal.

Finances

I've never been good at finances.  I've come a long way though. When I owned my own home in Virginia before getting married, I wouldn't even open the bills because I was scared of them.  I know, most of you are aghast that I would actually admit that.  Oh well, it's true.  That was at my worst.  I'm not at my best just yet, but I'm much better than in the past.

Because we're self-employed, our financial circumstances tend to be either super great or not so much.  I'm actually ok with both.  I prefer super great though.  One of the good things about being self-employed is that you don't have a set income necessarily which means you can actually capitalize on opportunities presented, therefore making a good amount of money.  The other side of that is when the opportunities don't come, alas, we don't eat.  Of course, I've have my food storage which has saved our rear ends many times.  

But, recently I ran across a blog called www.debtfreeadventure.com.  I'm not sure why this blog appealed to me, but it did.  This fellow, Matt Jabs, decided to get rid of his $15000 i debt and grow a savings fund at the same time.  He determined to learn all he could about finances and money, etc, etc.  He has lots of people make comments on post topics that I have found to be invaluable.  I enjoy Dave Ramsey and even Suze Orman to some extent, but the real world people who can give down and dirty advice is what I seek.

Because of the advice and tools offered on Jabs' website, in just about a week, I have organized my finances.  Detailing in spreadsheets my constant bills (ie electric, gas) and figured out how much interest I'm paying on my mortgage, credit cards and other debts as a way to understand more fully what is going out my door every month.  Because of the organization of it all, I feel as though a burden has been lifted.  I'm not choosing to be in the dark anymore.  The debt burden is still there, but at least I know that it's possible to overcome.

I just wanted to document my personal success.  It's nice to not be so overwhelmed as to now even know where to start.  One step at a time.