Recommit

So, tomorrow is October 1st.

It's been two months since I wrote about changing my life.  I did a super great job for the first month.  September didn't go so well.  

I'm recommitting.  I want more of the abundance that started to grow.  What happened, you ask?

I'm not quite ready to tell everything, but it's different and I believe the Lord's hand is in it.  During the first month of my commitment, my spirituality grew, my health increased and I felt more purposeful in the efforts with my children and their education.

Why in the world would I stop something so wonderful?  Stupidity?  Laziness?  Contentment?  Probably a little of all three.  I also hurt my ankle making it difficult to walk every morning.  

No more excuses.  Back to the drawing board.  I'll be revisiting my entry on July 31st about my 160 day challenge.  I'm still determined to it.

That's enough rambling.  Time to get to work.

Happy Birthday Joey!

September 30th is my little Joe's birthday.  I can remember we this little pumpkin made his way into the world.  I took the time with Joey today to tell him his birth story.  I didn't tell him how difficult it was for me to have a C-section.  But, I did tell him that the Lord blessed us both that we were safe and healthy, because I was obedient to the blessing I received.

I've recently gotten more convinced of the power of story.  Everyone has a story.  I want my children to know how important their story is to me.  Just a few minutes to tell Joey how much I love him and how incredibly grateful I am for his big head. :) (That's the reason I had to have a c-section.)

Enjoy a few pictures from his birthday.

Joey's birthday cake came in the form of a Volcano Cake at Don Pablo's the night before his actual birthday.  Robbie had a baseball game on Joe's birthday so we celebrated it a little bit early.
Lucy made Joey breakfast in bed, but he woke up before she was done.  So, he got to eat it in the living room while watching t.v..  
                                                                      Strike a pose!
Joey wanted a remote control truck so badly.  He had to wait all day before he could open his present.  He got exactly what he wanted.
                            This is one happy little boy.  Dreams really do come true.

I'm Home

I had a very nice trip to California.  I was very tired for most of it with the three hour time difference.

When I'm a little more fully awake (got to bed by 1am ) I'll talk more about my trip.

I'd like to thank all of those who have read my blog and commented with support.  I'd like to thank you as well for your thoughts and prayers.  I felt them.

My love for friends and family grew.  I just wanted to leave a message of gratitude.

Update

So.  I'm still in New Jersey.  

As you'll read in the post under this one, I was having some serious doubts as to whether I should go to CA or not.

I fretted over it all day.  I asked Sam for another blessing.  He suggested that someone else give the blessing.  Brother John Collier came over with his wife and gave both Sam and I counsel about a few things.  I was very thankful.

Brother Collier gave Sam a blessing, I only heard snippets because Leah was complaining about the particular "Dora" she was watching.

Brother Collier then gave me a blessing.  A very strange one.  Not to minimize it, but the result was the counsel to leave the blessing and go and pray to find the answer. (do you see me rolling my eyes?) 

Heavenly Father knows that I'm not real very good at praying and getting answers.  So, I tried. I don't know if I got an answer at that moment.  I decided to finish packing and go on to the airport.

It was very hard to leave my family.  I got checked in and made it through security without anything beeping.  I quick stopped and grabbed a couple of sandwiches to munch on during the 4 hour flight to SLC.  Stopped at the bathroom and I was good to go.

The incoming flight was delayed so I had a few minutes to eat a sandwich.  Then it was time to board.  I was doing just fine until I saw the plane.  At that minute I just felt a dread set over me.

I felt like stopping right then but I continued down the jetway.  I was just about to step over the threshold of the plane when I backed out.  I let the line go ahead of me and I called Sam.  By the time he answered the phone, I was sobbing.  I was so scared to get on the plane.

As an aside, I am not afraid to fly.  I practically grew up in an airplane.  My dad always owned an airplane until I was about 24 years old.  So, I was not nervous about flying.

Sam told me to not go.  I agreed but needed another opinion.  I called my mom.  I asked her that if she was feeling as badly about this as I was, would she go.  She said, "no."  She counseled me quite a bit.  

Finally, someone tapped me on the shoulder and I told her that I wasn't getting on.  She was a bit confused, but I just started to cry again.  They walked me back (policy) and were just as nice as they could be.  This is rather surprising considering we're talking Philadelphia here.  They were kind-hearted and very loving actually.

The Delta desk attendant rebooked me for a flight tomorrow--with an aisle seat.  I'm still not sure if I should go, but I have a few more hours to make that decision.

I may sound like a super freak, but I know what I felt.  I know a warning feeling when I feel it.  I don't know why and I'll probably never know why.  But, I do get to spend another night at my house with my kids fussing and fighting with each other, but I'm so thankful to be here and not just barely landing in SLC with another 2 hours to go before landing in California.  

I'm sure there will be another update.  But that's the one for now.

I'm just hanging out on the couch before the day really gets started.  I'm leaving for California today for an Heritage Makers conference.  I have to say, I'm not really excited.  I've been trying to figure it out for days now.  

I'm not sure if it's because I don't really know anyone there, therefore I don't really have anyone to look forward to hanging with.

Or, am I just lazy?

What I think it is more than anything is that I'm REALLY going to miss my children.  That trip to the beach really did a number on me. :)  Having so many kids so quickly has really gotten on my nerves at times.  But, now that I've been homschooling them for nearly a year and they've been joined at the hip for so long, I think I'm really going to miss their companionship.

They just really make me happy.  They make me place my priorities in the correct order.  They make me smile and yell at times.  I'm learning to be a more patient mother.  There are days that patience is not in my vocabulary, but most of the time I really try to soften my responses and communicate to them my love, even when I'm mad.

I will enjoy sleeping in a hotel room all by myself.  Not fighting for the bathroom.  Having some adult conversations and just kinda being selfish.  I'm going to Disneyland while I'm there too.

But, my heart really does sadden as I think about saying good bye to my family at the airport and enduring 2 hours in the airport.  Flying to California is a LONG trip and I'm going to be lonely without my little posse.

I love my children.  I love being with them and teaching them.  I love being their mother.  I have to confess, the pessimistic side of my brain worries about coming home.  Will I?  Please pray for me and my children.

Sorry about the deep, dark parts of my brain.  That's like seeing those tabloid magazines in the checkout lane with pictures of the "stars" without make up or their cellulite at the beach.

I do apologize. 

More Beach Pictures

Lucy and Leah feeding the seagulls.  Those birds are crazy.
You can't really tell in this pic, but Robbie got quite the sunburn.  He put the sunscreen on by himself.  'nuf said.
This is that big UGLY building in the middle of a beautiful beach.  
These are two of the reasons I homeschool.  
Our last night at Wildwood.  We went out and just walked on the beach.  Looks like some future lifeguards to me. 

A Simple Thing

I sure do love teaching moments and I love it even more when I'm aware they're happening. :)

Monday night was Robbie first baseball game of the "Fall Baseball" season.  Or "fallball" as they call it here in NJ.  

While the other kids and I waited for Sam to arrive and Robbie to get his first "at bat" in the third inning, a couple of men were standing close by chatting with each other.  We were near a picnic table and one of the men kinda ran into to table and gouged his leg.  It wasn't a super bad wound but it did start a slow bleed.  I offered our first aid kit but he didn't seem to mind.  But, I watched as the blood started to run down his leg, I could bear it no longer.  I sent Joey to the truck to get the first aid kit, which is a MEGA first aid kit.  He brought it to me at the table, I flipped it open and got the man a antiseptic wipe and a band aid.  He was impressed with the kit and grateful for the assistance.

Once done, Joey took the kit and put it back in the truck.  

I love it when eternal truths just spew from my mouth without effort on my part. (translation: not my words but His) 

I said to the kids, "See when you're prepared, it easy to serve others."

I've come to realize that preparation is for the individual, but it'll be used by the Lord to serve all His children.  Isn't that awesome?!!